My history of my body: Part, the Last

Now I weigh XXX. How did this happen? How did my body get further away from me than it ever has? How did I get to a place where I literally cry over what I've become?

It's a lot of little things that came together. In the past few years, I've moved twice, gotten two new jobs, had a lot of changes in routine, and struggled with being a lady of a certain age. I would say that last item is the one that has lead to the greatest struggle. In the past, when my weight would creep upwards, I could try a diet, and, slowly, get my weight down. But these days, it seems to go up, but it doesn't want to go down.

I have tried a number of things over the past couple of years: Weight Watchers (again and again), low carb, portion control, more exercise, fasting days, not eating after 4, combinations of the above. None have been successful. The weight hangs around like a bad habit. It's terribly frustrating.

I get that a number of these things could be done just as an attempt to live a healthier life. That if I do these things, I'll just feel better and the pounds will come off. And that really is a lovely theory. But I like carbs and ice cream and bread. I really like them. So when I give up those things, I really want to see results. At the beginning of this year, I went on a low-carb diet and, after 6 weeks, I lost one pound. ONE pound. I cried and cried, and HWM hid the scale.

I've gone to doctors both hoping that there is something and relieved that there is nothing. I've wondered if I should just learn to love my body as it is, but then I see pictures or an unflattering angle in the mirror, and I am horrified. So much for loving yourself the way you are.

That brings you up-to-date on my body. I'm planning to get into my head for a while in future posts, so stay tuned for that!